I don't really have time for this...

1. Facing Default, Some Walk Out on New Homes
Thinking "they'll never find me" while forgetting the six hours of worth of paper trail they left at the closing.
2. Harry Withdrawn From Afghanistan
While hairy remains the rage in Afghanistan
3. Researchers Unlock Secret of How Bats Fly
Flappy web-like skin under their armpits.
4. Obama Volunteers Trained in Organizing
Deploy to 'California Closets' kioks in malls, worldwide.
5. Poll: Broad Support for Requiring Health Coverage
Snarky findings from the Mel Sharples Institute.
6. Pew Poll Holds Good News for McCain, Obama
Those who use pews likely to sit this one out.
7. Clinton counts on women for comeback
Predicts bit year for The Bangles, En Vogue.
8. McCain says 100-year remark distorted
100-year remarks back into the political dialogue for first time since Kerry campaign.