7-Layer Headlines

1. Dominican Migrants Panicked on Journey
Rodney Dangerfield's call of "Let's dance!" met with confusion, fear, mayhem

2. Fla. Slayings Suspect Has Criminal Past
Besides just the slayings, that is

3. Perry ends holdout, signs with Cincy
Too late, Dominican Migrants already terrified and fleeing

4. Coors Wins Senate Primary Race in Colo.
Miiler's bid for "President of Beers" going worse than could possibly have been imagined

5. Blue-Eyed, Stripeless White Tiger Is Born
Blue-Eyed, Penniless White Tiger lead singer calls it quits

6. Millions of Locusts Headed for Darfur, Say Experts
An expert by the name of God

7. Dairy Intake Tied to Lower Body Fat in Girls
Dairy references tied to Higher Body Fat in Girls