Eleven months a year

1. Gas Costs Expected to Be High This Summer
Next stop EscalaBackbone.
2.NBC Secures Matt Lauer on `Today'
Next installment of Where in the World...to be far less interesting.
3. Pilot Survives Experimental Plane Crash
Experiment a success.
4. Democrats Relive Clinton-Gore Excitement
Got marginally satisfying blow job from Tipper.
5. Cheney Throws Out First Pitch in D.C.
Hits first baseman in the face. (too obvious to avoid)
6. Lott Lawyer: State Farm Destroying Papers
Unlike a good neighbor.
7. Bush to Host Lebanese Prime Minister
Actually lesbian Prime Minister - won't Bush be surprised.
8. Bush Glad Cheney Not Running for President
Wouldn't want to run against Cheney.
9. Former Milwaukee cop denies beating an unarmed man in the street
Beat him in the "fuckin' face".
10. Deadly voyage for African emigrants
A headline 400 years too late.
11. Computers Hijack Wash. Quarter Design Vote
And so it begins.