Ten's Fightin' Words!

1. Latin Grammys to Be Broadcast in Spanish
Previous broadcast in Farsi a huge flop.
2. Greenspan Voices Optimism on the Economy
His pension is sweet.
3. Senate 'Gang of 14' Seeks Solidarity
Suggest speaking to Lech Walesa.
4. Texans Gear Up to Decide on Gay Marriage
Some wearing chaps with jeans, others just chaps.
5. Polygamist Judge Fights to Stay on Bench
His many wives keep dragging him off.
6. Group Says CIA Sent Suspects to Europe
Where they were given universal healthcare and a 35 hour work week.
7. Bush Shows Reporter What's in His Pockets
Oddly enough, not lint.
8. Scientists Find Fossils in Sexual Union
Wish it were them.
9. Depression raises colorectal cancer risk
Doctors urge people to not press on their colons even if they really have to go.
10. Blame Puberty for Teen Sleep Patterns
Also increased need to launder sheets.