Late Sunday Nine

1. Bruschi Starts for Patriots After Stroke
Ineffective, since now he always runs to the left.
2. Depardieu Tells Paper He's Ending Career
The continued existence of his career is news to most.
4. Willie Nelson Hosts Friedman Fundraiser
Big Hands - Big Brains: A Concert of Hope.
5. The Human Brain Seen as Master of Time
At odds with some people always being late.
6. Texas Pastor Electrocuted During Baptism
Baptism of future Texas judge.
7. Calif. Police Seek Motive in Fatal Rampage
Incessant gunfire coming from police helicopters tops the list, along with general distaste for tall buildings.
8. Earthquake Shakes Parts of Montana, Idaho
No one affected.
9. Grower Invents Cranberry-Harvest Device
Looks suspiciously like migrant laborer.