Ten

1. Fitzgerald Must Broaden Investigation
And by that, we mean add more broads.
2. Bush Picks Bernanke As New Fed Chairman
Close resemblance to outgoing chairman sparks Weekend at Bernankes comments.
3. U.S. Army MASH Unit Rolls Into Pakistan
Critically acclaimed hilarity ensues.
4. Pound stays steady
Oh YEAH! Oh YEAH! Goooooosh!
5. 'Goodfellas' Said Best Film of All Time
By Tony 'The Weasel' Cacciatore.
6. Creators of 'Urinetown' Unveil New Musical - Set in the Primordial Goo
Of Shitville.
7. Dallas Diocese: Miers Not a Catholic
Rest of U.S. - who asked?
8. House Bill Puts One Million Infants and Children at Risk of Losing Health Coverage
Republican led House considers putting babies on the menu in cafeteria.
9. Accidental Invention Points to End of Light Bulbs
Scientists accidental consumption creates florescent cock, and it's always pointing.
10. Galapagos tortoises unhurt by volcanic lava
That shell kicks ass.