George Tennet

1. EchoStar Rolls Out Portable Media Player
Not all that portable, hence the wheels.
2. Special Forces Suicides Raise Questions
Can you really snap your own neck ala Van Dam.
3. Jet Stolen From Fla. Winds Up Near Atlanta
Benny relieved.
4. Wiccan Priestess Loses High Court Appeal
Vows to get revenge.
5. Turkish Co. Signs Power Station Deal
They're going to multiply....yeah they're gonna do it.
6. Hoping to solve mysteries of TV universe
Major networks programming more like black hole than white dwarf.
6. Good News for Steelers' Roethlisberger
He gets paid millions of dollars to do what he'd do for free.
7. Katrina May Affect New Orleans' Wildlife
Even the birds have grown gills.
8. World Helpless Against Assaults of Nature
Decide to offer human/animal sacrfiices to appease her.
9.Fish may aid fetal brain development
Specifically, The Amazing Mr. Limpett.
10. Most travelers do not need hepatitis booster
Would like jet pack.