neveleven

1. Bush: U.S. Foiled at Least 10 Terror Plots
Mostly White House staffers lurking behind walls trying to scare Dick Cheney.
2. Cheney Throwing Stones at Democrats
Literally. It's the only thing that makes him feel better on the bad days.
3. Bush Presses Vaccine Makers on Bird Flu
Unwittingly killing them, leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves.
4. Wildfire Season Unexpectedly Mild
Comfortable temperatures make firefighting more enjoyable.
5. Majority of Dead Katrina Victims Nameless
A shameful parental oversight.
6. Robert Blake tells jurors his slain ex-wife was great for casual sex
Most jurors already knew.
7. Chirac, Blair vow to be 'force of harmony' in EU
Force and harmony - two great tastes that taste great together.
8. White House denies Bush claimed divine inspiration
On the heals of a strong denial by God.
9. Hungary PM: U.S. Could Face Europe's Fate
Hopefully that means universal healthcare.
10. Democrats Urged to Abandon Election Myths
Extremely low turnout by Sasquatch, Yeti.
11. Drug helps combat teen heroin addiction
Create teen heroine addiction.