Headlines

All The News That's Fit to Mock

Monday, September 26, 2005

Tenerator Power

1. Center-Right Wins Poland Election
Center Robinson Wins San Antonio Election

2. Iran Official Blasts IAEA Resolution
Wickes Furniture Official Blasts IKEA Resolution

3. Paper: Getty Bought From Suspected Looters
But what organized crime really dreamed of was getting him behind the wheel of the getaway car

4. Two Sisters Recount the Horror of Bus Fire
Clean cut white reporter from the suburbs can't make heads or tails of it

5. Faulty Body Armor May Have Endangered Bush
It was intended to be installed on the Cheney Unit

6. Philly Cardinal Acknowledges Pain of Abuse
Imagine being in a pennant race against yourself

7. Governor's Initiatives Go It Alone
Swimming desperately through intern's fallopian tube

8. 'It wasn't bad' for some who stayed behind
They worked at Deere's, the credit union, or as waiters at Shagnasty's

9. Obesity alone not linked to fatal heart attacks
Key is obesity plus autonomic body functions

10. More Obese Seniors Choose Gastric-Bypass
Over gastric soaking

3 Comments:

At 1:15 PM, Blogger Pat weighs in with...

Up and down.

4 a favorite, along with 8.

Didn't understand #10.

 
At 8:32 AM, Blogger Dan weighs in with...

They would prefer to be bypassed by gastric acid, rather than be soaked by it.

 
At 8:34 AM, Blogger Pat weighs in with...

Ahhh.

 

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