Benign

1. Texans Fire Offensive Coordinator Palmer
Defensive coordinator praised, particularly work against Santa Anna.
2. Hurricane Warnings Posted for Florida Keys
Pretty much all the time.
3. Residents Streaming Back to New Orleans
Coming by stream that is.
4. North Korea Pledges to Drop Nuke Programs
On Seoul.
5. Shiites Gather in Defiance of Insurgents
Creating a larger target.
6. Fake Rastafarian arrested in bank heist
Real Rastafarians not that ambitious.
7. Sword expert accused of stabbing his wife's lover to death
Sword expert should have felt lucky he was married at all.
8. Panel Recommends Ways to Improve Elections
At the top of the list: exclude Republicans.
9. Part of New Orleans reopened
Other parts floating in the gulf.