Tenacious D

1. Rita Plows Across Gulf; Patients Evacuated
Patients living on oil rigs.
2. FDA OKs Breast Implants Under Conditions
Sterile conditions, lets hope.
3. Hornets to Play in Oklahoma City
T-Clog cancels plans to visit, citing fear of killer bees.
4. Chesney Says 'I'll Be OK' After Split
Hamstrings will be sore for a couple days, but they should be fine.
5. Katrina Evacuees in Texas Now Flee Rita
No other states willing to take them for fear of disaster.
6. Ford Discusses Hybrid Engine Plans
Engine to burn only the finest gasoline or old growth redwoods.
7. Marshall Field's Name Change Upsets Some
Field Marshal only popular with Stratego players.
8. Larry Fisher thought he would get more time for sex attacks in Saskatoon
Wife came home early and caught him in the act.
9. In Brief: Zend enhances PHP management in Zend Platform 2
No question that Zend was the man for that job.
10. Bush Administration Touts Rita Readiness
Lucky for them Texas is next to LA.