Tenlaccio

1. Evacuee benefits differ by state
Benefit of evacuees in South Dakota, for instance, is that they won't stay

2. Mistake Leads to 29-Cent Gas Price
Mistake led to birth of 50-cent

3. Engineers Probe Cause of Levee Failure
Rain kept fallin'

4. Father of U.S. Cavalry Gets Hero's Burial
Not on an Sioux reservation, he doesn't

5. Historical society honors Bob Brown
Hysterical society honors Bobby Brown

6. Former "Talking Head" turns factory into instrument
Former Supersonic turns "instrument" into factory

7. Rare Pangolin, Seized From Tourist, Dies
Rare pantaloon, seized from tourist, dyes

8. Ala. Church Youth Swallow Live Goldfish
Proving that similarities between Alabama church youth and box turtles don't end with brain size

9. Australia dinosaur fossils head back to China
After eating scientist, museum guard, annoying reporter, and black guy

10. Rice leaves on Central Asian tour
Rice loaves on Central Asian menu