Elevender

1. Hungry Pakistanis Wait for Quake Relief
It's their stomachs that are a quakin'.
2. Insurgents Launch Pre-Referendum Attacks
Starting in 2003.
3. Luongo Leads Panthers Over Islanders 3-1
Islanders stood little chance against tree climbing panthers and of course, all that water.
4. Specter: Miers Will Be Grilled on Issues
Specter: Miers dishes will float through the air.
5. Vince Weakens Further Over Atlantic Ocean
In flight movie, Wedding Crashers, getting very predictable.
6. The Golden Age is at Hand; New Gold Plated MegaChi Pendant with White Light is Now More Life Enriching Than Before
Order now get second Gold Plated Mega Chi Pendant with White light for half price.
7. Site Seeks Veterans' Stories
Site run by Tom Brokaw.
8. PM of Pakistani Kashmir says he rules a graveyard
Only the coming of dawn can vanquish the horrible night.
9. Bush Stresses Recovery in New Orleans
No matter what you ask him.
10. Wis.-Based Group to Run Stem Cell Bank
In return for beer.
11. Oil-rich countries tap into new political power
Not sure why it took them so long.