Simply Seven

1. Blackberry Users Learning Painful Lesson
Not as tasty as name would imply.
2. Bush to Help Open New Exhibit at Library
Ironically, one on the positive aspects of book burning.
3. Census Looks at How Cities Grow in Daytime
Transformation into vampires during the night not well understood.
4. Countries Slam EU Offers to Cut Farm Aid
For many, it's the only chance to see Willie Nelson.
5. Global Warming a Major Threat in Africa
Plain old warming too.
6. Researchers: Technology Can Help Elderly
Or befuddle them.
7. Peru finds headless mummy predating Incas in Lima
Fairly clear that being headless an impediment to survival.