Seven's a Poppin'

1. Charles, Camilla Hit D.C. for Bush Visit
New batteries in Camilla's vibrator.
2. 50 Cent Disagrees With Kanye West
It's a wonder one of them hasn't been shot yet.
3. Apple hits new high
Defying Newton entirely.
4. Arab Nations Press Syria on U.N. Probe
Without even removing their pants.
5. Trend Micro Brings Spyware Protection to the Enterprise
Presumably Enterprise NCC1701A.
6. Usenet search engine preps porn for video iPod
Coming soon to public transportation near you.
7. Grandpa Is Sued Over Grandson's Downloads
Grandson to get whatever he wants from grandpa this Christmas.