Ten? Aw shucks.

1. Google to distribute discount coupons
If you thought free was cheap, you ain't seen nothing.
2. Dell recalls fire-risk laptop batteries
A real 'funny until you poke their eyes out' moment that was.
3. Discovery Hints at a Quadrillion Space Rocks Beyond Neptune
Someone had to count them all....he loves to turn you on.
4. X-rays won't detect liquid or gel bombs
Can see boobies.
5. Cuban TV airs first footage of Castro
Damn he was handsome then.
6. South African loses foot to shark
Shark loses foot to manta ray in game of Texas Hold 'em.
7. Prosecutors to monitor Madonna Act
After getting little satisfaction from Sister Act.
8. Nintendo hopes Wii spells wiinner
Having improved their grammar, good spelling is their next goal.
9. U.S. takes optimistic view of Lebanon
Those in charge take optimistic view of armageddon
10. U.S. gov't gets giant cross in San Diego
As big 'fuck you' to Buddhists and other non-Christians coming from the west.