Assinine

1. Palin says woman on ticket would be good for GOP
Amnesia has wiped out memory of last 12 weeks.
2. A's acquire Holliday from Colorado
Arbor Day.
3. Lohan refers to Obama as `first colored president'
Colored, by god.
4. Police: No evidence of murder on British island
Calling in Hercule Poirot.
5. Cheney, Biden to meet privately at VP residence
Biden emerges strangely hunched, with menacing gravely voice.
6. 18 killed in toy-related incidents
Can't blame Jarts this time.
7. Ice, snow make travel treacherous on Plains
Long for days of rain, even Spain.
8. Brisk Walk Can Curb Chocolate Cravings
Especially if taken with bag of M&M's.
9. Helicopters Collect Whale Snot from Blowholes
In latest incarnation of extreme science.