Pontific Eight

1. AP poll: 1 in 7 voters still persuadable
Only requires a 'lifetime supply' of something to change their vote.
2. Beaten down, American consumers burrow deeper
Hoping to wake from hibernation in a better economic environment.
3. Rare, prehistoric-age reptile found in New Zealand
Huge fire-breathing fiend discovered by dwarves digging too deep.
4. Joe the Plumber hires Nashville publicity team
Hoping to squeeze 16 or 17 minutes out of fame.
5. Suspicion falls on dairy farmer in Ill. murders
Townspeople shocked by udder tragedy.
6. Man refuses to pay after sharing food at buffet
This shortly after visiting Colts training camp.
7. Analysis: Bush foreign-policy goals largely unmet
Only 'Start Wars' check box filled.
8. Extremely Rare Leopard Photographed
Def Leppard, at late season state fair.