Obfusc Eight

1. German doing well after 1st double arm transplant
Wishes the nurse would come to scratch his back.
2. Woman says she was shot in the leg by her stove
Husband, standing slightly behind her, points at the side of his head and rotates his finger.
3. Analysis: Obama, McCain defy stereotypes in debate
McCain avoids mentioning his lawn, Obama his peeps.
4. 14-year-old Iowa girl abandoned under Nebraska law
Law, written on enormous piece of parchment, folded into tent-like structure.
5. Ferry finds songwriting boring
Prefers carrying people across bodies of water.
6. NYC man sued over 25-foot Viagra rocket
Still erect after more than four hours despite warnings.
7. New Flying Dinosaur Drone to Resemble Pterodactyl
Used in land grab foiled by meddling kids.
8. St. John's Wort effective for depression: study
Paintings of giant facial affliction hilarious.