Practice Makes Seven

1. Bush says he's working hard on economic turmoil
Despite last minute slow motion screams of 'noooooooooooooo' by staff.
2. Mpls drivers honk approval for replacement bridge
Or at that jackass driving slow in the left lane.
3. Ford's new F-150 pickup fuel economy up 8 percent
Now 8% higher than shitty.
4. World's oldest man has 113th birthday in Japan
Utters cryptic words before disappearing.
5. Teen 'detective' leads police to stolen bike
Adopts nom de guerre, Encyclopedia Brown.
6. Man who cleaned public restroom gets plunger award
Thinks it's hilarious. Really. Thanks a a lot.
7. Yahoo begins radical home page overhaul
Now mostly porn.