Punchy ten

1. As Gustav nears, Gulf Coast puts faith in planning
Bible belt now lashed firmly to anything that'll float.
2. Afghans say deadly US raid based on misleading tip
From jive-talkin' street thug Huggy Bear.
3. Top-seeded Ivanovic upset by Coin at US Open
Already has Delaware.
4. Lindsay Lohan lashes out at father on blog
Father likely to never find out.
5. Small GPS devices help prosecutors win convictions
Finding the courthouse critical first step.
6. 90 Days on Mars: Phoenix Lander Sends Martian Postcard
Featuring inexplicable palm trees.
7. Judges refuse to rehear W. Pa. ex-Nazi guard case
Just too depressing.
8. Disposable diaper breaks fall, saves child's life
Shoots feces more than two blocks.
9. Woods' golf limited to video game
May never return to PGA.
10. McCain makes decision on running mate
In form of robotic Ronald Reagan.