Unlevened bread

1. New Orleans mayor: Please don't come home yet
Finishing back to back to back viewing of LOTR on your home theater.
2. Bush headlines lineup at GOP convention
Looking more and more like State Fair all the time.
3. Singer-actor Jerry Reed dies at the age of 71
Joins Fred, the beagle, on the convoy through eternity.
4. Lieberman, Thompson to boost McCain at convention
Bringing an enthusiasm level not seen since Perry Como.
5. Tiger Woods' wife expecting another child
Tiger keeping himself busy while he recovers from knee surgery.
6. McCain says Palin's background thoroughly checked
Statement followed by wink, glance at rear of veep prospect.
7. Superdome operator: stadium looks good
Like giant white boob.
8. Obama's bounce smaller than others
Blames white mother.
9. McCain More Likely to Drop Palin, Bookmakers Say
Arm strength never the same after years in captivity.
10. Astronaut named head of Canadian Space Agency
Finally supplanting popular hockey coach.
11. Whales shedding blubber, Japan study says
Atkins diet program finally translated.