Eight is never enough

1. Obama puts Bush species rule on hold
Hoping to keep Bush's from breeding.
2. Engineer invited teen to operate locomotive
Hoping to stoke his coal box.
3. Officials cite broad power for president in memos
These memos, written in early days of Clinton administration, were looking to expand the executive branch's power over 'broads'.
4. Ring exposes rift in 'right-to-die' movement
Actually an elaborate plot to rule them all.
5. Wall Street shows modest moves a day after tumble
Not trying to regain respect all at once.
6. Fidel Castro: 2 leaders undone by 'honey of power'
Ending Cuban association with Yogi Bear and Boo Boo. Should have seen this coming.
7. Mass. man fined for Chuck E. Cheese mascot assault
Extremely low quality of pizza sent man over the edge.
8. Kids Prefer Veggies With Cool Names
Flavored like chicken nuggets.