Ten again

1. Bush defends tumultuous terms in farewell speech
Entire broadcast devoted to the words 'newkular' and 'Ahmadidnajod'.
2. Birds in Both Engines May Have Brought Down Jet
Apparently not better than either two in bush OR one in hand.
3. New light on Mars methane mystery
Rovers powered by 'cheesaritos'.
4. Citibank wins judgment against Ed McMahon
Giant checks no longer honored at most branches.
5. Titans coordinator Schwartz to coach 0-16 Lions
Childhood dream of large salary/low expectations achieved.
6. NASA to fly unmanned drone for science research
Entirely missing the point.
7. Bitter cold hits hard because of economic meltdown
Fewer 'benjamins' to burn for warmth.
8. Victoria Cross awarded to Australian soldier
Was hoping for Victoria Beckham.
9. Review: Blockbuster's $99 video box disappoints
Only plays Big Momma's House 2.
10. Bush: 'This is a moment of hope'
Hope we never elect anyone as shitty as you again.