Tentational

1. GOP chairman race goes to second vote
Plurality of voters voted for cardboard Ronald Reagan.
2. Obama touts middle-class task force lead by Biden
Knows better than to taunt them.
3. Rush Limbaugh challenging notion of new politics
Entire existence requires that things remain unchanged.
4. Singer Amy Winehouse's home in London burglarized
Most likely by Winehouse herself.
5. When you watch these ads, the ads check you out
So says Yakov Smirnoff recreating Soviet era comedy routines nightly in Branson MO.
6. AP Exclusive: Bad peanuts found before outbreak
Sitting in cupboard since that party in '98.
7. Obama calls for prompt action on stimulus
Last night, in bed.
8. Ailing Castro throws first punch at Obama
Which younger, agile Obama avoids with ease.
9. Liberals rebound in Quebec
Need to work on passing, shooting.
10. Springsteen promises hot halftime show
Portly saxophone player to wear only thong.