Ten over time

1. Steele: Limbaugh fracas a 'sideshow distraction'
Republican party now more like clown car than actual circus.
2. Suspects Questioned in Pakistani Cricket Shooting
"Damn thing wouldn't stop CHIRPING!"
3. Clinton: Israeli home demolitions 'unhelpful'
Though site of naked man sitting on toilet in rubble hilarious.
4. Altimeter 'had role' in air crash
Showed clearly when the plane hit the ground.
5. Ukrainian security agents raid Naftogaz offices
Looking for Nazgul.
6. Singer Phil Collins finds new passion in the Alamo
Searching undeterred for its basement.
7. Sudan leader: No international court can touch me
Has no hopes of even short-lived musical career.
8. Bush says it's 'essential' to help Obama
Should have thought of that before he fucked everything up.
9. Rights group: 1,000 seized in Gambian witch hunt
Gambian university major rival of Hogworts.
10. Drunken mayhem mars St. Patrick's in Ireland
In other news, sun rises, sky blue.