10 - a magic number

1.
European Probe Lands on Saturn's Moon
Despite insistent pleading, no one will come near T-Clog's moon.
2.
Calif. Town Tries to Recover From Mudslide
Town devastated by chocolate flavored drink. Considering drastic relief efforts including "hair of the dog"
3.
Mobsters Busted in Gambling Crackdown
Pledge to 'not be taken alive by you coppers' falls far short.
4.
Military Has Discharged 26 Gay Linguists
No place for lisps in Arabic.
5.
Joe Volpe named to replace embattled Judy Sgro in mini cabinet shuffle
Judy throwing off the timing of all the other dancers with her freeform interpretive dance.
6.
Coyotes Chairman Disputes Amount of Debt
Ignores boxes of receipts from Acme.
7.
Intelligence Future-Gazers Look at 2020
Relied heavily on quatrains of Nostradamus.
8.
Researchers Link Gene to Form of Deafness
Gene Simmons of KISS.
9.
Scientists Unveil Dinosaur-Eating Mammal in NY
65 million years too late.
10.
Study: Albatrosses Often Circle Globe
Parking places hard to come buy.