Baker's Dozen

(sorry, didn't realize how many I had--didn't want to delete)

1. Bryant Charge Dropped; Civil Suit Looms
Charge originally loomed after suit dropped.

3. Britney's Trash Sold on EBay
As well as Best Buy, Tower, and BMG

4. Cheney Calls Kerry Unfit
In between huffing and puffing while leaning on podium, clutching heart.

5. Group Aims to Perform 1M Baptisms in U.S.
Parnering with Hurricane Frances

6. Peter Jackson Says He Won't Ape Original King Kong
Asked to start by putting shirt back on

7. Scientists to Map Known Universe
Declare everything else as simply "Romulan Territory"

8. Dyslexia Not the Same in Every Culture
In the US, for example, the disorder results in a misreading of English words

10. Virtual Humans Proposed As Space Travelers
An aging Max Headroom called upon to undergo rigorous NASA training

11. Hair Stem Cells May Offer Baldness Treatments
Say goodbye to embarassing bald spots, say hello to a thick layer of gooey stem cells on top of your head.

12. Loud Music Can Cause Lung Collapse
Just ask that dickhead dad from the Twisted Sister video