The Seventh Headline Stretch

1. International Academy spreads its wings
Now offers courses to be medical assistant in addition to CAD designer, "graphic arts specialist"

2. Saving the big house on the prairie
They can only be talking about the residence from the short lived "Lohaus on the Prairie"

3. No time to rest
There are still people out there who are completely unaware of McDonald's 99 cent "value menu"

4. Mora has nothing but respect for the 49ers
Sneaks naked into Circuit City to try and catch as much of their games as he can before they throw him out.

5. AP: Iran Nuke Fuel Program Starts at Mine
Or so you might think, if you saw the radioactive waste I just left in the crapper

6. French Premier Skeptical of Ransom Demand
Terrorist, threatening the use of "nucular weapons" has him casting suspicious eyes westward

7. Court Bars Rubble Removal from Jerusalem Shrine
While he may be breaking priceless artifacts with his buffoonery, dopey, blond-haired fool was there at least 5,000 years prior to any other items in historic structure