Unlucky 13

1. Climate linked to plague increase
Scientists trying to make inroads with the "it's God's will" community not making any more headway than usual.

2. 'Rogue scientist' cancer blow
But better, most men agree, than no blow at all

3. Slow Start for Revival of Nuclear Reactors
Scotty keeps reputation as miracle worker.

4. Gas Prices Drive Ford F-Series Sales Slump
As well as "four barrel roastin' dogs"

5. Government Concerned by Animal-Rights Activists
Liberals constitute nine of top 10 in Dept. Homeland Security's Most Wanted List

6. Iran Presents ‘New Formula’ for Talks
One plus two equals three, no doubt

7. On the Road: Take the Liquids, but Leave the Laptops
Because if you've ever spilled liquid on your laptop...well, just trust us on this one.

8. Fresh Princes of Mumbai, Building a Global Audience
Witty, impeccably clean jive of Will Smith takes playful shots at caste system, leaves Far East in stitches

9. The St.-Tropez of Turkey
That orgasmically juicy spot right between the neck and wing.

10. Critic's Choice: 'Double Indemnity'
Not 'Double Impact'

11. Doctors Give Hope to Patients With Long Histories of Unexplained Symptoms
Develop new pill, Psychosomunol

12. Harry Crews, Aging Wild Man, Publishes Again
Hairy crews of aging wild men punish Aragorn