Eight is Enough

Yemeni Poet Says He Is al-Qaida Member
In Haiku -
al-Qaida member I
restore the caliphate now
my blood for Allah

Fab Five Want to Go Out With Gold Medal
Former Michigan standouts waiting behind scenes, ready to snatch it.

Huge Clock in NYC Shows Cost of Iraq War
Keeps time like shit

Nevada Fire Burns 4 Homes, Changes Course
Continues to shuck and jive

Couche-Tard quarterly profit triples to $66.4M as revenues hit $2.5 B
Douche bag profits way down

Japan Won't Have U.S. Beef Anytime Soon
A slender arm in the back raises his hand - says willing to risk anything - for beef.

MTV Awards May Be Toned Down
Not even bothering to talk about videos

Cool Midwest Summer Creates Bigger Spiders
Ahhhhhhhghggggggggg!