The Nikki Sixx

1. Yemeni Poet Says He Is al-Qaida Member
And doesn't even know it.

2. Growing metro area heads north
Developer invested heavily in home security systems designed by Prof. Fink

3. Pennington prefers to forget last time he saw Giants
Recent childhood fantasies get in the way of accurate throwing

4. Bush's Father Foresaw Costs of Iraq War
Subsequently invested in defense contractors

5. Asia Farmers Sucking Continent Dry
Before water returned to it's properly place by Apache Chief during spotty exibition of physics in 1979 episode of "Superfriends"

6. 'Super Earth' Discovered at Nearby Star
Closer inspection reveals angular, many faceted planet to me none other than Bizzaroworld.