Six to Nine

Paris Hilton to Publish 198-Page Memoir
Like an issue of Cosmopolitan, will be 85% ads.

German Government to Auction Off Nazi Holiday Camp
Back in the old days had plenty of bonfires, used books and Jews rather than wood.

Peterson Testimony Turns to Computer Data
Stenographers finally switch to Word.

Artist Plans to Lynch Confederate Flag
Likes the subtlety of the irony.

Almost Half of Video Gamers Cutting TV Use --Study
Acknowledge only 24 hours in a day

McCain Furiously Courted by Kerry, Bush
Flattered, but taken

Tampa Radar Failed Before Charley Hit
High winds suspected

Astronauts Practice Survival Skills
Still no luck at surviving falls from 200,000 feet. Vow to keep trying.

ConAgra Recalls Chicken Breast Strips Across U.S.
Lick lips.