No thanks, I just eight

Rare Fever May Be To Blame In Merchant Mariner's Death
Disco fever.

AP Poll: Fear of Terror Attack Persists
Bush administration totally confused as to the reason.

Three Killed in N.C. Shooting Spree
Sprees just not what they used to be.

UN council mulls Sudan resolution, US to speak on genocide
World not sure if we're for or against.

Panasonic DVD Recorder Gets Connected
Grandma's christmas present finally out of box after 9 months thanks to visiting children.

Bush visits, praises storm trackers
Nothing braver than hiding in a bunker watching satellite images.

Year taken off Olson sentence
Vastly reduced number of commas, semi-colons.

St. Bernard Drug Sweep Nets 20 Suspected Dealers
No longer carrying brandy in those little barrels.