7 and none

1. Britain's Straw Visits Iraq Amid Violence
Fears fire most.

2. Powell Says Brazil Not Developing Nukes
Although can't be sure since everyone else is doing it.

3. Senate May Be More Diverse After Election
Ewoks to gain seat for first time despite hopelessly primitive culture.

4. Denmark to Claim North Pole, Hopes to Strike Oil
Calling on Odin to stir Viking blood in ambitious colonial move.

5. Unexpected Beat in Heart of Milky Way
Huey Lewis.

6. Air Force Looks at New Microwave Weapon
Unpopped corn kernels.

7. Patient-Doctor Sexual Relationship Examined
In Dirty Doctor 7.