Nine Lives

Disabled Are Pleased With E-Voting
Would rather be able to walk/see.

Rocket Set to Launch Into Space Again
'Not again!' says rocket.

Office Depot Chairman, CEO Nelson Resigns
Could no longer inspire employees after showing in company basketball tournament.

Nintendo Raises Its Earnings Estimate
Discovers mushroom-shaped power-up in storage room.

Rice: Iraqi Nuclear Plans Unclear
Unlike her statements.

Atlantic Hurricanes Should Slow in Oct-Forecaster
Forecaster noticed this fact looking at last 100 years of data.

Deformed Fish Found Near Treatment Plants
Sadly, not the synopsis of tonight's Simpsons episode.

Armstrong Rides to Raise Cancer Awareness
Stretches to fight crime. What a guy!

Blue Jays Name John Gibbons Manager
Willing to play hardball.