10 Lords a Leaping

1.
Baghdad Car Bombs Kill 34 Children Receiving Sweets
Strangers suspected

(man it's tough to go for that joke)

2.
Houston Official Seeks Halt on Executions
Executioner suffering from repetitive stress disorder.

3.
Buffalo Fighting Rise in Street Violence
Calmly continue to chew cud, considering stampede.

4.
'Black Pinocchio' Tells of Dreams and Desperation
It's not his nose that grows when he lies.

5.
Pop icon Robbie Williams dreams of US supermodel Cindy
Even his dreams are unoriginal.

6.
Interior Ordered to Keep Indians Informed
Exterior keeping them in the dark.

7.
Acne-Like Rash Shows Cancer Drug Is Working
So says sweating, nervous head of pharmeceutical company

8.
Schwarzenegger Signs 'Foie Gras' Bill
Completely unable to fashion snappy one liner.

9.
Bear Ransacks Kitchen as Paralyzed Man Lies in Bed
Not actually paralyzed, just no longer capable of living up to reputation as bear chaser.

10.
Snake Shuts Theater Showing 'Anacondas'
Disgusted by stereotyping.