Headlines

All The News That's Fit to Mock

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

7 in the number

1.
Bush Asks Americans to Support Soldiers
Isolated motorcade rides keep Bush out of touch with the average American's ribbon festooned bumper.
2.
Child Advocates Win $27M Calif. Lottery
Winners admit to never liking children.
3.
Official Downplays Navy SEAL Photographs
The Girls of Special Ops on newstands now.
4.
Desly International Recalls Marshmallows
Way too much mallow.
5.
U.S. Firmly Anti-Kyoto as U.N. Climate Talks Start
Wishes they chosen it over Hiroshima, Nagasaki.
6.
Goodall Says Environment at 'Crossroads'
Picking up some slacks at Penneys
7.
Kinks Seen in Theft of Saturn's Ring Material
Desperate for moment in spotlight 20 years after success of Come Dancing.

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