9 more than you can handle

1.
Bush to Thank Canadians for Post-9/11 Aid
Canadians: he's being sarcastic....right?
2.
Lesbian Minister Faces Pa. Church Trial
If she floats, she's a wi... I mean lesbian.
3.
Report Sheds Light on Black Hawk Crash
Sudden contact with the ground cited.
4.
PETA: Iowa Slaughterhouse Abusing Animals
Lucky for slaughterhouse, dead animals can't talk.
5.
Man Tries to Improve Nation's Geography IQ
Starts by explaining that the earth is a sphere, later shoots himself.
6.
Ridge's Successor Faces Daunting Task
5 color alert system very complicated.
7.
Treasuries Slip Anew on Data, Soft Oil
OSHA to investigate workplace hazards.
8.
U.S. proposes curbs on salmon protection
Suffer greatly on suburban lawns.
9.
FDA Questions P&G Female Sex-Drive Patch
PG, speaking from Terre Haute, offered no comment, just grinned.