9 luft balloons

1.
Spellings Named Education Secretary
The name drips with irony.
2.
Oil-For-Food Panel Won't Hand Over Papers
Except for food - it's all they know how to do.
3.
Texas Schools Scrap 'Cross-Dressing' Day
Worried at least some of the students would end up crucified.
4.
Kmart Buying Sears in $11.5 Billion Deal
KMart will now be filled with tools.
5.
Iraqi PM 'Very Concerned' Over Shooting
After 18 months of this bullshit, he's had it.
6.
Australian crash train was travelling almost twice the speed limit
With a name like that, most locals aren't surprised at what happened.
7.
White House Reacts With Caution to Russia
Don't like that look.
8.
US Supreme Court stops execution of mentally disabled man
One man with a syringe no match for 9 motivated though elderly justices.
9.
Humans Were Born to Run, Scientists Say
Dr. Bruce Springstein.
U.S. Launches Giant Study on Children
Giant CHILDREN! Wait.....oh. Whew, for a second there...