9 - Want More? Too bad.

1.
Source: Jackson Gives DNA Sample to Police
Tears off poorly attached chunk of himself. Slams it on desk.
2.
Eric Rudolph Defense Questions Sketch
Sketch, while evocative, had nothing to say.
3.
Calif. Bishop 'At Peace' After Settlement
Years of lying, reprehensible actions atoned for with transfer of cash.
4.
Habitat for Humanity Founder Pushed Aside
In scramble to get on crowded subway, not a time to think of others first.
5.
Report: Tanker in Oil Spill Hit Hazard
Them Duke boys must be involved.
6.
Generation Raised With Internet Grows Up
Begins masturabting.
7.
Analysis: Bush Honeymoon May Not Last Long
Not nearly as long as his vacations.
8.
Bush Downplays Thompson's Terror Worries
Motioning with thumb says, "what the hell does he know?"
9.
Breeding Captive Elephants Is Difficult
Step ladders often knocked down by elephant at critical moment.