nina pinta and santa maria!

1. Pope Keeps Up Tradition of Spanish Steps
Dignitaries have tumbled down these stairs each of last 100 years.

2. European Union, China Agree to Boost Ties
China agrees to deliver printing press, spices, and fireworks. Europe agrees to deliver bubonic plague, dysentary.

3. Ind. Man Trampled to Death by Wildebeest
Dangers of being unqualified zookeeper far exceed those of being unqualified schoolteacher.

4. U.N. Opens Forum on Tolerance to Muslims
Muslims apparently not been allowed previously at the Forum on Tolerance.

5. Bush's goals still big, bold
Inspired by successful Risk session when he was 13.

6. Tauzin Concedes to Melancon in La. Race
Once his opponent took to preceding his name with "John Cougar," he didn't stand a chance.

7. A National Pledge of Party Allegiance
Complete with signatures of founding fathers Mike Bushby, Randy Rattenborg.

8. Obesity Among Low-Income Kids on the Rise
Faced with starvation, beginning to eat one another.

9. Smoking is bad for your brain: study
There's a great chicken-and-the-egg scenario if there ever was one.