14's my limit on schnitzengruben

1.
Bush to Meet With Five African Presidents
Doesn't care which ones, they all look alike to him.
2.
NTSB to Study What Led to Mo. Plane Crash
Not surprising since that is their primary reason for existing.
3.
Report: Surgery Tools Washed Improperly
Report: hands washed improperly. Related Report: red punch made improperly.
4.
Indonesia military hunt cars carrying bombs -paper
Now there's a man's sport.
5.
U.S. Toll in Iraq Pushes Past 1,700
Taxpayers to pony up a shit load of dimes.
6.
Gomery inquiry wraps-up with a long list questions that still need answers
Topping that list: why didn't the seargent have you transeferred out of his unit.
Second: where did you get that beautiful singing voice.
7.
Rice Takes to Stage to Aid Ailing Soprano
Tony Soprano - like's the way he operates.
8.
Rapper Mike Jones Hoops It Up for Charity
Rare confluence of Rap music and basketball resonates with young African Americans.
9.
N.Y. 'Daily News' Adopts Transparency Policy in Travel Section
Contacting Wonder Woman about possible use of invisible jet.
10.
U.S. Youth Team Rolling After Upset
Pounding the floor, holding their breath, and flailing their legs wildly. Later calmed with promise of a cookie.
11.
Creamer Moves Up Leaderboard
Really in the ejaculation 'zone'.
12.
Arlene Brought Wind, Rain and Little Else
The bitch.
13.
Obese kids' excess pounds make exercise tough
Makes poking them more fun.
14.
Appetite Loss for Elderly Not a Good Sign
Dry toast and coffee hardly makes a dent in food pyramid.