Celebra Ten

1.
Experts Warn of Intelligence Confusion
Regret taking that 9 for Wisdom.
2.
Pope condemns gay marriages as fake and anarchic
Adds to list with round Earth and heliocentrism.
3.
Bolivia President Offers to Resign
"Gotcha! I meant re-sign"
4.
Jagr Has Finger Surgery
Long time fan tired of slip-on giant finger.
5.
Group: Legalized Marijuana Is Long Shot
Same group finds trip to fridge difficult.
6.
Bush Returning Funds From Coin Dealer
Thought he could get his face on the quarter.
7.
Senate to Issue Anti-Lynching Apology
Sucking up to the south goes one step too far.
8.
Court: Ships Must Provide Disabled Access
Yarr! Shivering timbers now even easier for Peg Leg and his crew of scalliwags.
9.
Korean Scientist Values Religious Groups
Finds them tasty.
10.
'Super' bacteria live on sheets, fingernails-study
Also found on drapes, buried in backyard, god knows where else.