Straight Eight

1.
Scientists Reverse Sex Roles in Fruit Flies
Desperate scientists live vicariously.
2.
Alabama Teen Still Missing in Aruba
First trip out of state and she's never going back.
3.
Police looking for naked masked man
Elderly Zorro stricken with Alzheimer's.
4.
Chan 'Battles' Copyright Pirates
Hong Kong movie industry running out of ideas.
5.
Eric Wright Leaves USC After Arrest
Heads to jail.
6.
Menard Ordered to File Late EEOC Reports
Goofy, toothy grin and enthusiasm wiped from announcers face.
7.
Bangladesh floods a curse and a blessing
Mostly a curse.
8.
EU deadlocked over latest GMO maize approval
Minotaur weighs in in favor of maize.