Ten More ial Day

1. Parents sought as new political force
Their credo: "This isn't a democracy."

2. Cigarette makers sought out women, study finds
And, in a move surprising no one, so did cigarette smokers.

3. Depression unrelated to level of chronic pain
But highly correlated to existence of it.

4. Thailand bans sweets in schools to tackle obesity: report
In response, Candyland bans Thai food.

5. Researchers Use Maps to Research Obesity
X-Rays of lard butts go to 1:24000 scale.

6. Hong Kong health boss urges review after drug-blunder deaths
Hong Kong Health Boss also the curious and slightly disappointing final adversary in Master Blaster.

7. U.S. Braces for West Nile Virus Season
Scheels stocking up on really tiny bullets.

8. Kang Wins Corning Classic by Two Shots
Compares Enterprise to a garbage scow while he's at it.

9. Bilingualism report cites 'real progress' but says federal services stalled
At the same time.

10. Ontario expected to pass law forcing hospitals to report gunshot injuries
Or risk them.