First and Ten

1.
FAA at Fatal Hot Air Balloon Accident Site
Suspicious link between aircraft accidents and FAA.
2.
U.S. Weighs Consolidating Bomb Materials
Into one big mother-fucking bomb.
3.
US Airways, America West Agree to Merge
FAA to investigate.
4.
Greenspan slams Fannie and Freddie
In Federal Reserve Cage Match of Death IV.
5.
Photos of Underwear-Clad Saddam Published
This month's centerfold in Dirty Dictator magazine.
6.
Bush promises probe into Saddam underwear pictures
'Pictures' slow in coming to end of the sentence, and said rather loudly.
7.
Jump on board this 'Maximum Ride'
Baby!
8.
Bush: Ideology Motivates Iraq Insurgents
Rather than just boredom.
9.
Official: U.N. Not Bloated Bureaucracy
As he struggles to rise from his velvet couch, face smeared with chocolate.
10.
Newfangled Forecasting Enrages Britons
Old Britons particularly.