Sweat ten to the oldies

1.
Common Sense Moves Could Protect Privacy
Lock the door and close the blinds.
2.
Next church-state dispute: 'In God We Trust'
Opponents point to floods, plagues versus Jesus as evidence.
3.
Defense Says America West Pilots Not Drunk
Stoned. Duh.
4.
Workers at Coke Bottling Plants Strike
Marketers open 'Drawer B' bring out Coke Flat.
5.
Editor: Drug Firms Don't Disclose Enough
Most drugs increase risk of anal warts - too terrible to imagine.
6.
Fox Accepts Invite From Black Leaders
Thanks Elizabeth, Lamont.
7.
Bush Returns From Michigan With New Saddle
Not even the horse he rode in on could put up with his bullshit.
8.
Israel, Arabs agree to save Dead Sea
At least 2000 years too late.
9.
Creation Museum Sparks Evolution Debate
Spark fizzles, is snuffed out by deluge.
10.
Obesity Ups Risk for Colon, Throat Cancers
Cancer apparently caused by overuse.