Eleven Large

1.
Freedom Tower Features Attack Precautions
First building that can duck.
2.
Hostile Fire May Have Downed U.S. Copter
John Rambo, still wandering aimlessly through Afghanistan 15 years after the collapse of the Soviet Union, does the unthinkable.
3.
Bush OKs Shake-Up of Spy Agencies
Shown snow-globe containing CIA, FBI, NSA to get point across.
4.
Deep Throat Attorney Becomes Part of Story
A thoroughly unconvincing one involving a pizza delivery guy and some free time.
5.
Minn. Boy Left Quadriplegic by Lion, Tiger
Bear conspicuously absent.
6.
Oracle Profit Up, Beating Expectations
Expectations left bleeding, senseless by the side of the road.
7.
Monsanto Stock Slips on 3Q Profit Slump
Demands to know who left that slump there.
8.
House OKs shielding GIs from dubious sales offers
Not including recruiters.
9.
African Musicians Glad to Be in Live 8
Glad to be anywhere other than Africa.
10.
Prince Harry had DNA test to prove Charles was his father
Apparently those ears are more common than otherwise thought.
11.
Why You Can't Tickle Yourself
But why it's still fun to try.