A Star Tribune Ten

1. Wal-Mart heir dies in crash.
Detectives suspect whatever he was driving was bought at Wal-Mart.

2. Leades hold 'friendly' talks
Humans will not fire diamonds out of bamboo tubes, Gorns to go easy on menacing trudge.

3. Boys' abduction rescue was hoax, police say
Irate police discover what they returned desperate mother was a three-foot, carboard-footed Shakeys birthday balloon.

4. Zamboni operator accused of DWI
Subsequently approached by producers for new Adam Sandler movie

5. Gas station owner accused of charging too little
Shot by great great great grandson of Jesse James

6. Craftsman tool sales in Kmart challenged in court
Jury quickly convinced that no one seeking quality tools would have ever entered a KMart

7. Gophers QB Curry is recovering
What a sack!

8. Maybe you can just say, 'Aaah, skip it, Doc'
What you can say to Jim Carrey when he tells you he is thinking about auditioning for new live action "Bugs Bunny" feature.

9. Carpenter ants are invading
And Ant-Friend Bartlett with his 1,000,000-strong special operations Black Ant Corps are there to stop it.

10. TV network for gays to debut
Good Afternoon America, Good Evening America, and Good Night America being considered.

11. Google introduces video channel
FCC regects bid, citing numerous other "google" channels, including Cinemax, Showtime and, on occasion, USA Network.